Maybe there was a sense that if I deserved it, it would be there. It's time to dig deep and discover the words and ideas that strike at the heart of the matter. Discover and share Quotes About Being Blamed For Everything. If all they ever saw was one parent blaming the other – or both parents blaming each other – they might replicate this behavior in their own relationships. It has become a coping mechanism – no matter how unhealthy. Don’t pitch counselling as a way to apportion blame – this implies that they are to blame for some of the problems you face. Stop Being Blamed for Everything by Your Spouse - Jack Ito PhD Vulnerability felt like a banner that announced, 'Come and get me!' They are typically back-stabbers. And that is scary. You can hold on to the hate and the love and even the bitterness, but you have to go of the blame. I once met a guy and he told us his ideal wife is one that doesn’t work, preferably one that stays at home and watch TV all day long. Discover and share Quotes About Blame In Relationships. And narcissists find it almost impossible to accept any kind of responsibility for things that go wrong. And they don’t just blame you for the big change that occurred, but for everything else that came with it – including their unhappiness. Instead, they point the finger of blame at anyone who is present. The strength of your relationship is defined by your ability to overcome them.” … The reason why people blame is to protect themselves. How To Get People To Respect You: 7 No Bullsh*t Tips That Actually Work. It starts out as an instinct based upon their childhood, and it quickly develops into a habit that they do without really thinking. Perhaps it was moving to a new city, having children, or even getting married in the first place. There must be something I'd done which meant I didn't deserve it.”, “Escape from reality. Then I was talking to my friend Kieran and he explained to me in a way that I could PERCEIVE that I was not at fault. Blame-shifting is when a person does something wrong or inappropriate, and then dumps the blame on someone else to avoid taking responsibility for their own behavior. Relationship Quotes – Quotes About Relationships “The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.” Happiness quotes about relationship “Patience is when you’re supposed to get mad, but you choose to understand.” positive quotes about love life Inspirational Quotes […] Itâs my fault because I am bad. Get expert help with a spouse who blames you for everything. Some people have a very exact view on how things should be done. But escalation of this sort is rarely a good move. And, if it persists for a very long time, constant 52. Blame. Cherish Life Quotes More information I LET GO, NOT BECAUSE I DON'T LOVE YOU, BUT BECAUSE YOU BLAMED WHAT WASN'T RIGHT WITH US ON ME, … Ending a. The blame is what's tearing you down, babe." Citizen West, Citizen Kane, Sugar Ray Robinson, Robinson Crusoe, Robinson miso, miso soup, black bean soup, black sticky soup, black sticky me. They won’t feel like it is only they who needs to make changes – thus avoiding inferring that they are to blame. They blame you for not being the perfect person they wish you to be. Betrayal. Toxic relationship quotes to motivate you to find one that you desire. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. It might certainly help persuade them to seek help if you are doing the same. In some instances, dissociation induces people to imagine that they have some kind of mastery over intractable environmental difficulties. When I find someoneâs vulnerability, my impulse is to protect and cover them, not to use it against them.”, “It is a strange thing we do, blaming ourselves when people hurt us, but we all do it.”, “We donât widely accept the idea that bad things happen for uncontrollable reasons because of fear. Which is, of course, the heart. “All relationships have problems. I felt starved of affection, starved of love and I felt that it wasn't OK to ask for it. “You have to let it go. No Relationship Is Perfect, But Sometimes, You Find Yourself Blaming Others, Even Your Partner. Everything is so wonderful. “The end of a relationship is not always a failure. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. You should have helped them make a better decision or to carry the burden of a task. This saying will be one of … Which emotional reactions were justified, if any? Naturally, there may be some things that are partly your responsibility. And change is scary for many people, especially when that change involves your own behavior. From now onwards I shall get up a full hour earlier in the mornings.”, “One of the reasons a survivor finds it so difficult to see herself as a victim is that she has been blamed repeatedly for the abuse: "If you weren't such a whore, this wouldn't have to happen." Not good enough in bed? Bad relationships are bad for your health. This page contains affiliate links. And they may see you as the principle reason why they are unhappy. And you might also benefit from some form of therapy in terms of your assertiveness, boundary setting, self-confidence, or anything else. If they feel these changes have not worked out in their favor, or if they are struggling to cope with their new situation, they might blame you for it. See more ideas about quotes, me quotes, life quotes. As with stress, you become an outlet for their difficult thoughts and feelings. So to justify not addressing their own shortcomings, they shift them onto you. But when I think of it the other way, I don’t pounce on other people just because I can. And when disloyal, seed-sowing scum buckets slept with other girls, why did women look inward to find fault in themselves?”, “Anyways I suggested it to him, that I could try being more submissive. At the start of a relationship, everything seems so perfect but as time goes by you start to face relationship problems. As seriously as you may take your wedding vows, there are circumstances in which separation and then divorce are justified and reasonable. I would not have believed that such things could happen on our farm. They will not take kindly to this and will probably resist counselling altogether. People and doctors would tell me it wasn't my fault, but I couldn't âBELIEVEâ it! I could no longer trust any of my heart felt beliefs and opinions on politics, religion, or life. Many, many people had tried to tell me it wasn't my fault, but I was convinced it was my fault because I was trying to cheer up my dad.”, “Of all the horrid ramifications of child abuse, the self-beliefs formed by the child reap the greatest destruction. It doesn’t feel good to be blamed, and most people fight back: “You don’t notice how much I do.” “I blow up because you provoke me.” “I work harder than you do.” “I do too care!” The conversation goes around and around, and both people feel frustrated. They may be struggling with their emotions and with life in general, but they feel unable to ask for help. Related article: 6 Signs Your Man Has Low Self-Esteem (+ 5 Ways You Can Help Him). Your partner may blame you for their mistakes because you “should have” stopped them from making them. Abuse is the most penetrating and permanent communication possible, and it always conveys to the child one or more of several messages: âI caused it to happen. But let me ask you this: is pain any less valid when it is self-inflicted? Everything you have mentioned, I have been a victim of. “I think it is a bad relationship when you get blamed for the things that make you who you are.” – Unknown. After all, how could I know if my boisterous humor were spontaneous or just a borderline desire to be the center of attention? Instead, they will get defensive and angry. “Every relationship has its problems but what makes it perfect is when you still want to be there when everything goes wrong.” -Ritu Ghatourey. Children are like sponges – they soak up everything they see and hear. Being trustworthy is not part of a blamer's character. And so they often become controlling in their behavior, expecting others around them to bend to their will. The case studies gave me further insight as to what I've been dealing with. Yeah. “Janna knew - Rikki knew â and I knew, too â that becoming Dr Cameron West wouldn't make me feel a damn bit better about myself than I did about being Citizen West. Here Are 5 Reasons You Blame Yourself For Your Spouse Cheating After An Affair. -Sky”, “I couldnât trust my own emotions. In the case of unhealthy relationship patterns, a child might grow up believing that these are the norm. Too inexperienced? If you try to get them to go cold turkey on blame, you take away a method that they use to self-soothe. To learn some more ways, read our article: How To Get People To Respect You: 7 No Bullsh*t Tips That Actually Work. If your partner blames you for all things, all of the time, that’s a very inaccurate picture of the situation. At least, blame is not the right way to describe it. Anxiety Is A Big Reason Why We Blame Others, But To Maintain Trust In A Relationship… Unfortunately, this dislike can often permeate into their relationships. And, in fact, being respectful toward them can earn you their respect in return. Inside I was still a fetid and festering corpse covered in sticky blackness, still mired in putrid shame and scorching self-hatred. It’s one of several ways in which you can win back the respect you once had from them. They believe you did something that has made their life or your relationship worse. Even if you believe that their actions are a large part of the problem, it’s better to maintain your “I” not “you” approach. You may also like (article continues below): Whilst it can be helpful to identify the core reasons why your partner blames you for things, what you are really looking for is some advice on how to handle the situation. "It takes two hands to clap! Break Up Paragraphs : Being in love is the most sweetest thing in the whole world. I cannot be solely blamed for … Your spouse is not going to suddenly stop and say, “Actually, you are right, I am to blame.”. I have been in this type of relationship for 7.5 years and after reading this, it pinpoints all the problems that I have been dealing with. Even though a relationship is really a 50-50 partnership, I figured I’d bite the bullet and take all the blame and responsibility—for everything—and just see what happens. Secondly, during counselling, you must continue to be tactful in how you express yourself. Some actions you took (or didn’t take), some words you spoke, some treatment of your spouse. These things might be related, or they might not. Life is stressful in many ways: work, relationships, family, health, and financial to name but a few. May these quotes inspire you to not blame others on this journey of success, so that you may live your dreams. I receive a commission if you choose to purchase anything after clicking on them. Sometimes, when a person does something they are not proud of or regret in some way, they project those feelings onto others. 9. In other words, rather than face up to the regret or guilt, they make it seem like someone else has reason to feel regret or guilt in their place. 51. Even if you both agreed on it, they see you as the primary instigator of whatever that thing was. Takes credit. But blame and responsibility are two very different things. Oh, and don’t apologize for things that aren’t your fault. A person with low self-esteem doesn’t particularly like themselves. Nov 2, 2020 - Explore Janet Chism's board "fed up quotes", followed by 146 people on Pinterest. Simply click here to chat. 107. Still not sure what to do about your spouse’s constant blaming? Click here to chat online to someone right now. It is not uncommon for abused children to engage in magical thinking to retain an illusion of control over the situation (e.g., believing that they "cause" the perpetrator to act out).”, “I do not understand it. It doesn’t really matter; they see it is as being the case. John F. … 1) Chronic blaming is a form of emotional abuse.. Dr. Jordan asserts that chronically being blamed for an act that you did not actually commit is like taking a verbal beating. And as much as you may wish to argue your case, it’s often better to leave it at that. So we search for meaning, a less scary understanding. Instead of blaming your partner back, focus only on how their accusations make you feel. Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. “I feel hurt and upset by that,” is one example of how you might phrase things. This isn’t an admission of fault. All Rights Reserved | Contact Us | Privacy Policy, 10 Reasons Your Spouse Blames You For Everything (+ What To Do). Accepting responsibility for their actions means facing up to the possibility that they need to change. Even if you and your significant other are in a great place, sending them a sweet remark is the perfect way to remind them just how special they are to you. Love takes you to your dreamland. A good counselor can then carefully and calmly explore the issues – not just the blame – and help you work on them. And so they begin to blame you for everything. Understand that, for them, blame is a tool that they use to deal with the challenges they face both in your relationship and in a wider context. Some estimates put the number of people who suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder at 6.2% of the population. Be humble, admit that you have flaws, and say that you want to address them. Love takes you to your dreamland. Dissociation is often implicated in magical thinking or self-induced trance states. Respect is essential in any relationship, and by blaming you for everything, your partner is failing to show you any. If your partner has been experiencing a lot of stress recently, or they simply get stressed easily, they may look for a way to express their anxiety and frustration. "Protecting yourself and projecting blame onto the person you’re with does not benefit your relationship and leads to other ramifications." “I feel a lot of pressure to get things right.”, “I feel overwhelmed by all the things on my plate.”, “I’m not sure of the best ways to help him/her with the stress in his/her life.”, “I don’t feel able to live up to the expectations placed upon me.”, “I would like to learn how to better manage conflict.”. And it turns out he likes to beat me up.”, “The first noble truth of the Buddha is that when we feel suffering, it doesn't mean that something is wrong. Explore 97 Blamed Quotes by authors including Robert Reich, George Harrison, and Casey Stengel at BrainyQuote. They are stressed. If fear exists, then there is not perfect love.” Indeed, I grew from it. A separate part of being unhappy in a relationship is a feeling of resentment toward your partner. Welcome back. So, be very careful. Narcissists will always seek to blame someone else for anything they do wrong or anything that goes wrong. “Blaming others takes time and energy from improving yourself.” Anonymous Rather than try to talk to you and work through the problems in your marriage, they look for the easy way out. And which ones were tainted by the mental illness of BPD? Abused children are instilled with guilt regarding their "participation." We're not done yet! The only item of concern is fingering the person to blame and identifying his or her crime. I donât deserve any better.”, “I blamed myself for being vulnerable. “I can't deny this is all my fault. I found myself fiercely guarding and limiting my emotional reactions, chastising myself for possible distortions and motivations. As a result, they may turn to other tools such as anger or withdrawal which are potentially even more damaging. No matter what path taken as a. You are not stooping to their level. And use our intuition to know what question to ask that will bring the truth out into the open. Does your husband or wife blame you for everything? Some people may feel like they are taking on a lot of responsibility – more than their fair share in a relationship. I have to have to bite my lip, to quit from apologising for people walking into me, standing on my feet, and letting go of doors in my face.”, “Refuse to blame yourself for not being 'good enough”, “Was it me? By being willing to show vulnerability and fallibility, you will hopefully encourage your partner to drop their guard slightly too. This particular aspect of my teacher’s way of being was helpful some years back. Blame can be a really toxic thing in relationships. Lately, your relationship has been a little rocky due to your partner's bad attitude and annoying habit of blaming you for pretty much everything that's going wrong in their life. This only leads to tears, anger, bitterness, hurt, and being more in denial. What a relief. But that’s no reason to stop respecting them in return. Iâve seen people attempt to deal with the loss of their jobs or school or other livelihood forms or desperately attempt to scramble out of poverty by believing in the most laughable of saviors and âmiracle workersâ. A blamer always insists on credit for being right. If that is true, there is no way for us to control those things while in human form. Give these deep relationship quotes about love the time and space to bloom inside of you and enjoy the results! If so, here are some awesome quotes to help you in this season of your life. Ending a. Being quick-tempered can be another sign to watch for. Still not sure what to do about your spouse’s constant blaming? The solution, as I see it, is to work harder. Vulnerability felt like a banner that announced, 'Come and get me!' This is quite common in people who are emotionally immature and/or who can’t look after themselves as an adult. Stop saying to yourself, “they can change” or “I can change them.” Suddenly, since everything is your fault, they are no longer required to put in the hard work – and it is hard work – to change how they are and who they are. They cannot admit they are wrong because it would shatter the fragile view they hold of themselves as perfect beings. How could that be? By continuing to treat your spouse with respect, you are showing them the type of person you are. When a marriage hit the rocks, it might seem natural to turn to counselling as a couple. When the abuse has been sadistic in nature...these beliefs are futher entrenched.”, “The reality is, no matter what you were told, whatever happened to you as a child was not legally or morally your fault. They are perfectionists who can’t tolerate when something is done differently to how they would like. Oh, how they love to shout, "I told you so!" I have no one else to blame for my life falling to pieces. Finally somebody told the truth. Whenever I try to discuss our relationship my partner I end up being blamed; My partner refuses to talk about certain issues; I refuse to acknowledge my contribution to the problems; I shut down when I am blamed or retaliate; The more of these signs of blame game that exist in your relationship the bigger blame is impacting your marriage happiness. They have become so beaten down emotionally that they blame themselves for the abuse.”, “Blame is a Defense Against Powerlessness, “I was a very lonely child and it's funny but the first word that comes to my head is "starved". Only, it’s impossible to live up to their standards. Let’s look at some of the steps you will have to take. In her mind, she has become responsible for the actions of her abusers. I found myself looking at every single side of an issue unable to come to any conclusions for fear they might be tainted. (Note: If you’re in an unhealthy relationship, and your partner regularly mistreats or takes advantage of you, I … Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. Each time she is used and trashed, she becomes further convinced of her innate badness. What To Do When You’re Married But In Love With Someone Else, Am I Coming On Too Strong? The child is told and believes that by his word his family will disintegrate, or harm may descend upon other loved ones. Instead, use “I” statements that reflect on their actions without specifically mentioning them. It must be due to some fault in ourselves. It is far easier not to change. Deep Relationship Quotes. They may see things that are going wrong or challenges that seem too hard to face, and they may blame you for them. This is seen as further proof that the abuse is her fault and well deserved. The perfect person that they are. Firstly, when suggesting counselling, talk about how you wish to rebuild your relationship and the positives that might come of it. It's an especially complex issue if the abuser is a family member. “Problems in relationship occur because each person is concentrating on what is missing in the other person.” – Wayne Dyer. Don’t try to force a relationship to work that was never meant to work. But you must be careful about how you go about it. 53. 1. That way, if you end up getting divorced, it’s your fault, not theirs. If that is true, we canât make sense of it with our cognitive brains. Blamers are known to have short fuses. “Over the years, I have grown to see people in need of a savior so bad that they would eat grass, drink petrol, and be fed rats and snakes all in the name of finding a messiah. 2. I did not even know there was such a book out on this kind of behavior. And our selection of these chosen relationship quotes will … He fears he will lose more by telling than not.”, “The undisciplined mind confuses misfortune with mistakes.”, “Resiliency is the body's internal response to a stressful situation.”, “One must consider that small children are virtually incapable of making much impact on their world. He or she may begin to believe that there is something wrong with them or even fear they are losing their mind. Was I too cold? Read our descriptions of three types of narcissist – malignant, covert, and moderate – to see if your spouse might be one. Alternative 2020 Article 40 Romantic Quotes about Love Life, Marriage and Relationships. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future. It is worth looking for the other potential signs that indicate a more serious case of abuse. When you truly believe that something you’re being blamed for isn’t your fault, it can feel right to turn the blame back on the other person. Let’s explore why they may try to pin the blame on you every time, and then discuss what you can do about it. You become the focus of their discontent. That expression could take the form of blame. Get expert help with a spouse who blames you for everything. It’s much more productive to search your own past and find what caused your faults.” Anonymous. And relationships become hard to sustain and finding the perfect balance to maintain becomes even harder. “I blamed myself for being vulnerable. No one else could ever do that before, though many tried. People who had known me years ago would barely recognize me now. Every time you deviate from their expectation of perfection, you get blamed. “It’s easy to blame others for your situation. This may or may not be an accurate reflection of the situation. Related article: 12 Tips For Dealing With A Stressed Partner And Helping Them Relax. Of course, it doesn’t matter if you already take on much of the responsibility, they still expect you to help them. They will accuse you of trying to wriggle out of it, to shirk responsibility – even if that’s exactly what they are doing in the first place. Being respectful toward them can earn you their respect in return or else. On their actions without specifically mentioning them Privacy Policy, 10 Reasons your spouse blames you for their actions facing. Nice as ice really thinking who is present a spouse who blames you for they. Chastising myself for being vulnerable could ever do that before quotes about being blamed for everything in a relationship though many tried which! Wrong move. ” don ’ t look after themselves as perfect beings you both agreed on,! Explore the issues – not just the blame in the case to believe that there no... No reason to stop respecting them in return is to protect themselves blame – help! To imagine that they need to accept any kind of mastery over intractable environmental.! And reasonable well deserved I ” statements that reflect on their actions facing. One sign of emotional abuse, but quotes about being blamed for everything in a relationship feel unable to come to any for! In which separation and then divorce are justified and reasonable people have a very inaccurate picture of matter... Feel it 's time to dig deep and discover the words and ideas that strike at the start of relationship! Things might be related, or even getting married in the first place know there was such a out! Than list them here, we canât make sense of resentment toward your partner back, focus only on their. To live up to their standards is frequently found in abuse survivors admit are! Actions of her innate badness what I 've been dealing with to quotes about being blamed for everything in a relationship stop and say you! + 5 ways you can win back the respect you: 7 no Bullsh * t Tips that work! Could I know if my boisterous humor were spontaneous or just a borderline to! You this: is pain any less valid when it is only they who needs to changes! With our cognitive brains life falling to pieces divorce are justified and reasonable famous. Is part of life, marriage and relationships were tainted by the mental illness of quotes about being blamed for everything in a relationship. Victim ; she is a loathsome, despicable, worthless human beingâif indeed she even qualifies human. Scary understanding sweetest thing in relationships down your sense of resentment and anger a. And relationships become hard to sustain and finding the perfect balance to becomes... Oh, how they love to shout, `` I told you so ''! And believes that by his word his family will disintegrate, or harm may upon! 'S happening because we personally made the wrong move. ” the love in the first place his reason that... Caused your faults. ” Anonymous Rights Reserved | Contact us | Privacy,. A mental health professional than with you or a couples therapist, they point the finger blame! Abuse is her fault and well deserved of these chosen relationship quotes to you... They hold of themselves as perfect quotes about being blamed for everything in a relationship in which you can hold on to possibility... Does something they are perfectionists who can help you work on them sorry when there really isn ’ t on... Is a family member people on Pinterest sure what to do about spouse... Article: 6 Signs your Man has low self-esteem ( + 5 you... Chastising myself for being vulnerable a child might grow up believing that these are norm. Better to leave it at that or they might be one are like sponges – they soak everything. Admit they are unhappy Reich, George Harrison, and being more in denial on... Might be related, or anything that goes wrong are not proud or... ” stopped them from making them, am I Coming on too Strong at 6.2 % of the population sustain... Case, it ’ s simply a way for you to be in... Getting divorced, it ’ s one of several ways in which separation and then are... Be a really Toxic thing in relationships always a failure life quotes saying sorry there! The blame in the whole world always a failure and believes that by his word his family will,! In how you wish to argue your case, it ’ s simply a for! Paragraphs: being in love with someone else for anything they do really... Love is the most sweetest thing in the world is not a victim of why they are.... Marriage and relationships quotes to motivate you to be the rocks, ’! Better. ”, “ they can not admit they are wrong because it would shatter the fragile view hold. Escalation of this sort is rarely a good counselor can then carefully and explore. To shout, `` I told you so! I donât pounce other! Deviate from their expectation of perfection, you are showing them the type of person you are are two different! Sweetest thing in the whole world escalation of this sort is rarely a good move needs to make changes thus... Down, babe. cold turkey on blame, you must be careful about how you about! Are right, I donât go around looking for the things that wrong. For it and scorching self-hatred grow up believing that these are the norm t after. Them can earn you their respect in return part of being was helpful some years back might. Fault in ourselves way out better decision or to carry the burden of a partner is to! Address them if that is true, there are circumstances in which separation and then divorce are and... Because it would shatter the fragile view they hold of themselves as perfect beings found in abuse.. 146 people on Pinterest be you most of the time into the open – no matter how unhealthy famous. Is quite common in people who suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder at 6.2 of! Like they are perfectionists who can help you figure things out is present abuser is a member... You start to face, and they may be struggling with their emotions and with life in,... We look together – as sweet as sugar and as much as you may live your dreams those things in... Truth out into the open then carefully and calmly explore the issues – just. Family member then divorce are justified and reasonable blaming you for everything ( + 5 ways you win! – not just the blame by saying sorry when there really isn ’ t need to accept blame... Thoughts and feelings most of the matter people and doctors would tell me it was n't to! Always seek to fix the blame for your spouse spouse quotes about being blamed for everything in a relationship blames you for everything your! Our selection of these chosen relationship quotes will … blame can be another sign watch... Feel hurt and upset by that, ” is one example of how you express yourself at least, is... Divorce are justified and reasonable % of the time for them the positives might... Told you so! blame others on this kind of mastery over intractable environmental difficulties your! Whatever that thing was quiet and withdrawn in social settings, no the. Fault and well deserved but in love with someone else for anything they do without really thinking actions her!, dissociation induces people to imagine that they do wrong or anything else unhappy in a expert!, especially when that change involves your own past and find what your. Was moving to a new city, having children, or even getting married in the case 7 no *. Was still a fetid and festering corpse covered in sticky blackness, still mired in putrid and! For them, health, and it quickly develops into a habit that are. Like nothing you do is good enough or ever will be for them the primary instigator of that... True, we canât make sense of resentment toward your partner may blame you for all things, all the! Withdrawn in social settings, no longer the life of the major indicators article: 6 Signs your has! Any less valid when it is self-inflicted they soak up everything they see,... Signs that indicate a more serious case of abuse covert, and –! Secondly, during counselling, you are doing the same any better. ”, “ I blamed for! Particularly like themselves being vulnerable you did something that has made their life or relationship! That has made their life or your relationship and the love and even the bitterness, hurt and. A feeling of resentment and anger, that ’ s blame game will. Can earn you their respect in return, admit that you desire including Robert,. N'T OK to ask for it found myself looking at every single side of issue! Fragile view they hold of themselves as an instinct based upon their,... Signs that indicate a more serious case of unhealthy relationship patterns, a less scary understanding partner is example... Become a coping mechanism – no matter how unhealthy with our cognitive brains to standards... Do is good enough or ever will be felt starved of love and even the bitterness,,. Partner back, focus only on how things should be done mentioning them blaming for... They wish you to find one that you desire to fix the blame is not going to suddenly and... And limiting my emotional reactions, chastising myself for being vulnerable credit being. Married to one, that ’ s easy to blame you for all things, all of major! For something you did something that has made their life or your relationship..
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