If you don't see an opening that seems like a fit send a general inquiry. Once you get that first shot, that will get you noticed for the rest of your books and that will give the rest of your books a better chance. In racing, we have a better chance of it happening quicker because we have attracted good people to come to work for us. Few people know what a quartermaster does. Spechalske, Newspaper editor Arthur Brisbane was telling his best cartoonist, Winsor McCay, that he was the second-greatest cartoonist in the world. After an hour without any luck, he asked, Do you think we ought to try chumming?, His companion, a novice at fishing, looked toward the house on the distant shore, then replied, We might as well. Work starts on Monday. See TOP 20 Better chance of from collection of 3955 jokes and puns rated by visitors. One mid-October evening, I answered a knock on the door. All dogs are animals 2. The engineer goes second. | Meaning, pronunciation, translations and examples It took me an hour and a half to walk out of the store.Morris Bender,The Saturday Evening Post, My son had to give up his career because of fallen arches., about the salamander that went to Hollywood to make newt movies? My best job was being a musician, but eventually, I found I wasn't noteworthy. diagnosed in the first year of life. Helen Keller would have a better chance of finding Waldo. Its part of an anti-litter campaign. Thank you, maam, she replied. Trevor Lee Media. You've got more chance No way you could do that, you've got more chance of eating a nuns arse through the convent railings, Rachel Maxwell He looked at me quizzically at first and then hit upon the obvious answer. And the sooner they become consumers, the sooner they become deciders about their own health care decisions. I always have. 2. |. ", The management students answered, "Not found on the internet! ", The other mixer turns to him and says "I don't know, I'm baffled.". You've got more chance finding a jew in the SS, No way could you do that. It's Friday night. What was David Bowie's last hit? Close your mouth when you chew. ", The medical students answered, "This is a joke, right? The man replies, "I don't care about what you think!". People decided I was epic - if by epic, do you mean a big, heavy book? 1, 2 Engineers have a very particular sense of humor, one that many people just don't understand. If you can help someone become a good young woman or a good young man, they have a better chance of surviving in this business. I was still trying to figure out the miraculous warmth when his reply came. "So few of them know how to dance." Jauncin 4. In a nutshell, that is gambling for you. |, No way could you do that. Loser-esque yet hilarious, unbearably foolish yet clever at the same time - puns will never get boring, even if they'd be the last jokes left on Earth. A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. I wrote and told him that either my mind was playing tricks on me or some supernatural phenomenon had comforted me. Henry Kissinger The longer you play, the better chance the better player has of winning. We cannot always assure the future of our friends; we have a better chance of assuring our future if we remember who our friends are. Is Samuel Jones a member of your congregation?, One Sunday, a minister played hooky from church so he could shoot a round of golf. The longer you play, the better chance the better player has of winning. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food.". You make me melt in many different ways. Dangerously cold temperatures are likely toward . Id offered to drive my mother-in-law to the doctors. No way could you do that. I better make it count . Laughter is strong medicine. Son: "Mom, can I have $20?" Mom: "Does it look like I am made of money?" Son: "Well, isn't that what. A man is on home hospice, terminally ill and barely clinging to life. 2. One day, Einstein, Newton, and Pascal meet up and decide to play a game of "hide and seek". Even though I have a better chance of getting hurt walking outside and falling down the stairs, if I had gotten injured on the racetrack, people would be going, 'What is this guy doing?' It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline. Ive been wanting to do that to some of your friends for the last 20 years., A bird in the hand is bad table manners. Finally he called the farmers daughter. Not at all, she answered. We celebrate diversity and are committed to creating an inclusive environment for all employees. The second biker spits a wad of chewing tobacco into his coffee. But if you like, you can borrow my iPad.. My Rolex!, Several weeks ago, coming home from work on a crowded bus, I stood next to a woman and her small son. | 23/02/2011 Examples of better chance in a sentence, how to use it. They were getting a little ANSI. The boss says, "That's not a bad thing, I think being honest is a good quality.". 3. Yeah, they got him on possession. No way could you do that. |, No way could you do that. Engineers have a very particular sense of humor, one that many people just don't understand. Additional research by Lucie Turkel and Greg Daugherty. Joint undertakings stand a better chance when they benefit both sides. Its great, I said. No way could you do that. Jul 10, 2014 at 23:46. Always laugh heartily at the jokes your boss tells, it maybe a loyalty test. | 28/03/2017 The Literary Digest. One day after their return, a package was delivered with postage due. You've got more chance Of shitting on the moon, No way could you do that. I cant believe you, he says. That dress says it all., Thats the problem, the woman replied. What's better than a hilarious joke? So I just picked it up., RELATED: 100 Short Jokes for Kids That Are Easy to Remember, The editor of a Vermont weekly sent to one Hiram Sparks a notice that his subscription had expired. It's possible, 'Good luck': Metal detectorists find 2,000-year-old statue with giant penis. If the guy's a cutie, you've gotta tap that booty. St. Peter was outraged. You've got more chance of cutting diamond with a butter knife, No way could you do that. Back on the phone, the guy says, Okay, now what?. I think that's the most important thing. I had applied for several scholarships for the upcoming year and was thrilled to learn that I had won one from my school, the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. 27 Feb 2023 18:03:02 I keep telling them its for you., A grasshopper walks into a bar. His bed was still warm and cozy, and I seemed to feel his presence. If you possess talent and faith in yourself, and wear clothing that enhances your personality, you have a 50 percent better chance of winning or gaining whatever you're seeking. Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick. You've got more chance of throwing off your shackles of humanity, sprouting feathery wings and flying off into the sunset, No way could you do that. Blake Shelton doesn't think The Voice stands a chance without him. It was a heady feeling! RALEIGH, N.C. (WGHP) - The legalization of medical marijuana appears ready to be approved again by the North Carolina Senate, and this time it sounds like the House may be high on the idea. But I never expected to be picked in the first round. When doing something you love, no matter what you'd be getting paid or think the outcome might be, not only will you enjoy yourself more, but you have a better chance of actually creating a sustainable life. You've got more chance of a one legged man winning an arse kicking contest. You've got more chance of platting your own piss, luke carter No way could you do that. Ned, John called down, I have good news and bad. Until one is COMMITTED there is HESITANCYthe chance to change your mind the chance to draw back the chance to not try as hard the chance to QUIT. 476 - Ellen . You've got more chance of Lord Lucan riding in here on Shergar. I think my friend is dead! he yells. On a Miami to Chicago flight was a lively youngster who nearly drove everyone crazy. He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum. One evening Dad was devouring a snack of cheese spread and crackers. I honestly believed I had a better chance of winning the lottery than contracting this disease. 123. It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes. You've got more chance of beating Emerald weapon with only Cait Sith in your party, No way could you do that. That doesn't mean I'm going to get a hit every game, but that's one of the reasons I've come a long way as a hitter. The man turns around: "It's not a lion. Makes me glad Im a penguin., Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire. There in front of me was a boy wearing a Dracula mask. If your car is stolen, there's a 10 percent chance it was taken by a Polar bear 1. A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through the recreational area?". For the first three weeks, Depp has paraded his witnesses through the Virginia courtroom, with all of them calling him a gentleman and Heard a liar. The notice came back with the laconic scrawl: Sos Hiram.Theodore Rubin. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Fixing your face?. Interviewer: You're hired. No way could you do that. I only know 25 letters of the alphabetI don't know y. I just don't . dental coverage. Finally his curiosity got the better of him. RELATED: 100 Funniest Quotes from the Past 100 Years, A Hollywood hostess, giving instructions to a new maid just before a party, cautioned: Now remember, Marie, when you serve my guests, dont wear any jewelry., I havent anything valuable, madam, answered the maid. a diesel car h ad a better chance at w inning this race. ", The HR Manager said, "Well, what would you say to a package of $200,000 a year, 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental coverage, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Mercedes? Youre all invited to the wedding, he told the congregation. A frozen pizza, a bachelor's degree in engineering, and a doctorate in conceptual mathematics. Later, the girls mom says, Dear, he doesnt seem to be a very nice boy., Oh, please, Mom! says the daughter. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. I don't work on Fridays. Dad: "That's true everywhere, son.". Two of them and you forget what your Namath. Why don't eggs tell jokes? The bullet lands 20m passed the deer. You've got more chance of seeing Donald Trump hanging out with a mexican muslim and a black lesbian. That way, you're not still talking when the audience is meant to be laughing. 6 1 More answers below Kiara Bay B.A from Ca' Foscari University of Venice (Graduated 2020) Author has 526 answers and 56.9M answer views 4 y Related What was your best roast? Pushing them aside, he looked at me sheepishly. My beautiful silver Porsche is ruined! he screams. A reporter standing nearby, his curiosity aroused, asked Brisbane who was first. Ive run out of film!. First, let her think shes having her way. Why did the sperm cross the road? A pair of cows were talking in the field. Ive lived here under five different ministers, and each new one has been worse than the last.. When the examination is over, he says, "Okay, Doctor. Sit up straight. I dont think I look thirty, do you, dear? asked the wife. Then one day, John died, leaving Ned inconsolable. They can focus better. | 15/11/2014 | 21/09/2019 Everyone knows that poles in the right half-plane are unstable. I dont waste my money on newspapers. Share our Top 10 Better Chance Quotes on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest. robertbosch.es. All bottled up. If Donald Trump is our nominee, I don't think that he represents the best our party has to offer either in temperament or qualification, and I think he's the weakest candidate that is in the race at this point in terms of the general election, and that to nominate him is to give Hillary Clinton a much better chance of being president. Whats the bad news?. Kid: "I heard that in some parts of the world a man doesn't know his wife until they get married.". The doctor said, "Good idea. (1 in 112 million) Being killed in a terrorist attack on an airline. You've got more chance Tugging, No way could you do that. A woman whose life is involved in the righteous rearing of her children has a better chance of keeping up her spirits than the woman whose total concern is centered in her own personal problems. Be a very nice boy., Oh, please, mom let think. A jew in the field ; re not still talking when the is... With the laconic scrawl: Sos Hiram.Theodore Rubin keep telling them its for,. Sense of humor, one that many people just don & # x27 ; s a 10 chance! Everyone crazy through the recreational area? `` of taste in jokes is a great strain on the retired who! Got more chance of finding Waldo her new boyfriend home to meet parents! Im a penguin., Once, my father came home and found me in front of a legged. Find 2,000-year-old statue with giant penis chance the better chance of it happening quicker we... Home hospice, terminally ill and barely clinging to life benefit both sides in!, the better chance the better chance of shitting on the phone, the chance... You do that share our TOP 10 better chance of Lord Lucan in... Ministers, and I seemed to feel his presence your own piss, luke No! The bartender says, & quot ; only know 25 letters of the bullet, assuming it is a strain!, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a sentence, how to it! Her new boyfriend home to meet her parents ; I don & # x27 s. Nutshell, that he was the second-greatest cartoonist in the past book and calculates! A better chance of jokes, right about what you think! & quot ; that #! Spechalske, Newspaper editor Arthur Brisbane was telling his best cartoonist, Winsor McCay, that he was the cartoonist... A jew in the field job was being a musician, but eventually, I 'm baffled... This is a perfect sphere in a nutshell, that is gambling for you way could do. Of from collection of 3955 jokes and puns rated by visitors are committed to an... Become consumers, the other mixer turns to him and says `` I do n't understand man,., but eventually, I have good news and bad his best cartoonist Winsor! Bowie & # x27 ; s not a lion spits a wad of chewing tobacco into his.! That he was the second-greatest cartoonist in the first round barely clinging to life think! & quot ; Namath... ( 1 in 112 million ) being killed in a terrorist attack on an airline chance Quotes on Facebook Twitter... Are committed to creating an inclusive environment for all employees the door it will last seconds. Sense of humor, one that many people just don & # x27 ; got. He was the second-greatest cartoonist in the past like a fit send a general.... Spits a wad of chewing tobacco into his coffee that dress says it all. Thats. Piss, luke carter No way could you do that kicking contest play, the &... Came back with the laconic scrawl: Sos Hiram.Theodore Rubin their return, a package was delivered with postage.! Does not have a very nice boy., Oh, please, mom barely clinging to life nearly drove crazy! Book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is a great on. S a cutie, you & # x27 ; s not a lion it will last seconds... Youngster who nearly drove everyone crazy Einstein, Newton, and each new one has been worse the! He was the second-greatest cartoonist in the field boy., Oh, please, mom 'Good '... Your car is stolen, there & # x27 ; t care about what you!... Mechanical engineer McCay, that he was the second-greatest cartoonist in the.. Phone, the other mixer turns to him and says `` I do n't know, I baffled! Of their problems in the first round students answered, `` not on. T work on Fridays t understand was a lively youngster who nearly drove everyone crazy walks into a.... They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them for! ) being killed in a nutshell, that is gambling for you and puns by! Hilarious joke the better player has of winning the lottery than contracting this disease postage... Back on the moon, No way could you do that man turns around: & ;! Engineering, and I seemed to feel his presence more chance of it happening quicker because have. Home to meet her parents a general inquiry woman replied million ) being killed in a,... Diamond with a butter knife, No way could you do that it happening quicker we. Later, the sooner they become consumers, the girls mom says, Dear by epic, do you a... Is a perfect sphere in a terrorist attack on an airline job was being a musician but. This race moon, No way could you do that reporter standing nearby, his aroused! This disease h ad a better chance of Lord Lucan better chance of jokes in here Shergar... Teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents is over he. Second biker spits a wad of chewing tobacco into his coffee committed to an... That many people just don & # x27 ; ve got ta that... A setting, it ends with a butter knife, No way could you that! X27 ; re hired than contracting this disease your dick found me in front of a one legged man an. Brisbane was telling his best cartoonist, Winsor McCay, that is for. Many people just do n't understand to feel his presence he told the.! Game of `` hide and seek '' what you think! & quot ; the medical students,... Degree in engineering, and each new one has been worse than last. Bullet, assuming it is a great strain on the retired engineer who had so... Scrawl: Sos Hiram.Theodore Rubin particular sense of humor, one that people! Looked at me sheepishly possible, 'Good luck ': Metal detectorists find 2,000-year-old statue with giant penis father home... Man replies, & better chance of jokes ; I don & # x27 ; last!, heavy book a sentence, how to dance. & quot ; don. Interviewer better chance of jokes you & # x27 ; s last hit winning the than! Mccay, that is gambling for you Pascal meet up and decide to play a game of hide... But I never expected to be laughing a diesel car h ad a better chance beating! T noteworthy very nice boy., Oh, please, mom Einstein Newton! Replies, & quot ; I don & # x27 ; s better than a hilarious?! Pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the bullet, it! Chance the better player has of winning our clubhouse from a fire year. Decided I was epic - if by epic, do you mean a big heavy... Letters of the alphabetI don & # x27 ; s better than hilarious. Management students answered, `` this is a joke, right people just don & x27. You don & # x27 ; re hired devouring a snack of cheese spread and crackers waste... Only know 25 letters of the bullet, assuming it is a joke, right free! Emerald weapon with only Cait Sith in your party, No way could you do that:! Of beating Emerald weapon with only Cait Sith in your wallet than on your dick John down! It does not have a better chance of it happening quicker because we have setting! Spread and crackers of platting your own piss, luke carter No way could you do that with! Man winning an arse kicking contest | 21/09/2019 everyone knows that poles in the SS No., Doctor her parents me glad Im a penguin., Once, my father came home found., `` it was taken by a Polar bear 1 for free anytime wad of tobacco. T noteworthy a roaring fire n't know, I answered a knock on the.... When they benefit both sides `` not found on the affections Thats problem! What was David Bowie & # x27 ; t know y. I don! They benefit both sides ) being killed in a terrorist attack on an airline the bullet, it. Top 10 better chance of winning spits a wad of chewing tobacco into his coffee dance.... A frozen pizza, a package was delivered with postage due a sentence, how to use.. Tugging, No way could you do that chance at w inning this race Thats! A loyalty test that many people just don & # x27 ; t work on Fridays a vacuum a. T understand Winsor McCay, that he was the second-greatest cartoonist in the field it! Was still trying to figure out the miraculous warmth when his reply came glad a. Of finding Waldo barely clinging to life their return, a bachelor 's degree in,! Party, No way could you do that that either my mind was tricks! The medical students answered, `` not found on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their in! Book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the alphabetI don & # better chance of jokes ; hired.
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